WHY?

Warning: I apologize in advance for any language I may use that might offend people. My emotions right now, like many people in Omaha, are running very high with everything that happened Wednesday. Sometimes there's just never the right words to explain how one is feeling. So if you are easily offended please keep reading and try to understand where I'm coming from and why I may end up using colorful language.

I wanted to write this Wednesday night when I got home after Santa Slam. I wanted to let all of my emotions out and let the world know how I felt about what had happened earlier in the day. After much thought I decided not to. I decided to let myself calm down for a bit, wait for more details and facts to come in and then put my thoughts on paper. I thought this would calm my emotions and relax my mind a bit so I could write something with substance instead of just a bunch of anger. I was wrong.

Around the same time all this carnage was going down I was on my way to Omaha from my home in Plattsmouth. I had a few errands to run and I had to be at the station early to get ready for Santa Slam. On my way to the station I talked to our midday host, Sterling, totally oblivious about what was going on just a few blocks down on Dodge Street. She had informed me of a shooting at the Westroads Mall where two people were dead and five more injured. Adding to that she informed me about a coworker of ours who was at the mall. I was not prepared for what I was about to see when I got to the station.

In my short radio life of 4 1/2 years I have never been around when there was a breaking news event of this magnitude. I think it's also safe to say that most of the people I work with haven't seen a breaking news event of this kind since 9/11. Before I go any further I just want to draw the line right there and say that is the only comparison I will make towards 9/11. Two completely different events, however both very tragic. Just seeing everyone I work with working so diligently to get this breaking news event out over the air to our seven station cluster, one being a Spanish station, was incredible. To see everyone come together and work as a team was truly amazing. I applaud everyone in my building for doing their part in this time of despair. All I could really do was sit back and try to give any information I could about what news I was getting from the other various media outlets.

The more and more I saw all the live news footage come in only one word came to my mind. Senseless. That word just kept repeating over and over in my head all day as we tried to piece everything together. Even though the title of this blog is "Why?" that question didn't pop into my head until...well honestly until I needed a title for this blog. Senseless, senseless, stupid, senseless, cowardly, senseless. Those were the words that ran through my mind Wednesday. And the more news that trickled in the louder those words were sounding.

The whole time we kept getting word that one, maybe two people were dead including the gunman with many more injured. At one point someone walked by and said a confirmed source said nine dead and five injured. It took a good few seconds to really sink in. Did he just say nine dead? I had to ask myself that question over and over. Let me point out that this was also about five minutes before the police held their press conference and confirmed it. When they did say nine people were dead my heart just sunk. A senseless, pointless waste of human life yet again.

It was probably a good thing we had Santa Slam Wednesday night to take our minds off things and break away from it all. I'm sure all the people that came out enjoyed the break as well. But through it all it was always in the back of my mind. We also announced that some of the proceeds from the show were going to go to help the families of the victims. The Mid-America Center also announced they were going to donate half of concession sales to the benefit as well. It was all capped off by a very moving moment when Avril Lavigne went on stage and asked for a moment of silence and ended up breaking into tears. I know those were real because I was no less than 20 feet away from her when this took place. Very honorable and very real of her to do that. It's just too bad that Avril's first time in Omaha had to be surrounded by such tragedy.

After the show ended I went home and found myself once again wanting to hear more information of Wednesday's events. The more I heard the more angry and sad I got. The long day had finally taken its toll on me though and I finally crashed to bed. That didn't last long though as I was up once again at 5:15 in the morning gathering more national coverage and hearing what they had to say about everything about my home city. It was basically five hours of coverage through the 9:30 press conference where the nine deceased were identified. They had finally put a name to those who perished so tragically and way too soon. Six employees of Von Maur and two shoppers. Later on Thursday we had the faces to go along with those names. Right now I'm going to take this time and remember you because you are the ones who need to be remembered.

Pictured left to right; top to bottom. Shoppers: Gary Scharf, 48, Lincoln; John McDonald, 65, Council Bluffs, Iowa. Employees: Angella Schuster, 36; Maggie Webb, 24; Janet Jorgenson, 66; Dianne Trent, 53; Gary Joy, 56; and Beverly Flynn, 47.

My thoughts and prayers will always be with you. I am thankful enough to say that I didn't have any friends or family members that ended up being victims of the shootings because that's what I feared the most on Wednesday. And even though I never knew or met any of you, through your friends and family I will be able to get to know all about you and I think that is such a wonderful thing. May you all rest in peace.

As the days go on more and more info is being released. Now the 9-1-1 tapes have been released. To hear the chaos, fear, and the shock in the voices from the people calling in, it really takes my breath away. Especially the first phone call dispatch received about the shooting which also originated from inside Von Maur. The operator picks up and all you hear are gun shots echoing in the background. Round after round going off piercing through the phone that gives me chills and makes me flinch every time that awful popping sound is heard. There is nobody answering on the other end as the dispatcher continues to ask, "Hello 9-1-1." Then it ends with just eerie silence. It sickens me to my stomach when I hear that cause I am visualizing what is happening on the other end of that phone to the person who originally made that panicking phone call. I'm sure many of you can paint your own similar idea of what was going down. I don't have to try and visualize it for you anymore. And if you need any more visualization the Omaha Police Department released some still photos from the Westroads security cameras of that coward going into the mall. One even showing him aiming, preparing to shoot his AK-47 at an innocent life. Horrible!

I think the cover of the Omaha World Herald said it best the day after, "It Happened To Us." I think we all knew it could happen here, but we just never wanted to believe that it would. Everything that happened Wednesday is still a shock, but not really surprising to me. Nebraska's motto is "The Good Life." People move here to get away from the violence that ravages the bigger cities in the U.S. Omaha is just a fairly sized, Midwestern city where you want to start a family and raise your kids. At least that's the perception anyways. Let me remind everyone who doesn't already understand. What happened to us in our city Wednesday can happen anytime, anywhere, in any city in the United States or around the world for that matter. This isn't the first time and sadly won't be the last time that something like this will happen. It will happen again. The question is when and where. In the end though, we will never be prepared for it no matter how many times it happens.

Every few months or so you see something like this in the news. I remember sitting in Study Hall my senior year of high school and watching Columbine unfold before my very eyes. Now, there had been school shootings before, but this was something different. It set the standard for kids who felt like they were the outcasts, loaners, drifters who had nothing left to lose in life. That they could finally do something to be famous and finally have their name forever remembered by the history books. Too bad in the end they will always be remembered as fucking cowards! There's really no other way to describe them. They commit these heinous acts so their name will live on forever. I'm not going to use the shooter's name on here out of respect for the families, friends and loved ones of those who were shot in Wednesday's tragedy. Just using his picture at the top makes me fuckin sick. I understand that we all had questions and wanted to know who would do such a thing. Now that the media has given us that info we can now move on without using this murderer's name again. At least I'm not going to. From here on out I'm just going to refer to that murderer, that coward as YOU.

YOU are a coward! God tells us not to judge anyone, that He is the only one that is to cast judgment upon us. Even if that's so, I can certainly sit back and judge your actions. Your actions were cowardly and senseless in the worst way. YOU have changed the lives of so many people in mere minutes. YOU have taken away mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone down the line. YOU have taken the lives of some very wonderful and extraordinary people. YOU have ruined so many peoples lives including the ones that wasted their time caring and loving your pathetic self. There was even an ABC photographer on his way to cover your sorry actions and ended up getting killed in a car accident near Grand Island. Sure, he was doing his job, but if you didn't decide to be so selfish he never would have been on his way to Omaha. Look at all the lives you selfishly took away from us and continue to take away from us.

And why? Because YOU lost your job for stealing $17 from the McDonald's you worked at? Because your girlfriend broke up with you? Because YOU couldn't get into the Army? Because YOU were too much of a boy to get up off your ass and do something for yourself? It was always everyone else's fault, never your own. YOU weren't ever man enough to step up to the plate and take responsibility. Everything I mentioned are problems that many people face everyday. The difference is those people choose not to lower themselves even more by killing others, you murderer. They choose to make a difference for themselves in a positive way or at least they try to.

YOU left some suicide notes explaining that you will no longer be a burden to people. YOU, my sorry excuse for a human, have burdened and created so many more problems then you will ever know. Then again YOU knew exactly what you were going to do. YOU knew the consequences and repercussions your actions were going to have because you boldly stated that YOU were "going to go out in style" and that YOU were now going to be "famous." YOU are now infamous and hated. At least by me.

He had problems. You have problems, I have problems, we all have problems. But we don't go out and ruin other people's lives and put their loved ones through so much misery and pain because our life isn't the greatest. This year has been a very trying year for me. I've dealt with a lot more in one year then I ever would have imagined. Never once did I ever think about going out and killing people because of it. And it's funny to me that the title of my last post reads as "Kill Yourself, Not Me." Maybe YOU should have read those words and lived by them. Maybe then we wouldn't have to mourn so many wonderful people over a senseless act.

I don't condone anyone taking their own life to run away from their problems. It's called life people, we all have good and bad times. My only thought is if it truly does get to that point in your life, why would you do something so horrifying that it would alter the course of history in such a negative way? Why bring others down with you that never played a part in your life? Why would you do something at a time of the year when everyone is celebrating life, family and togetherness...Christmas time! Now, every year around Christmas time the families, friends and loved ones of the victims, not to mention the survivors, will always remember what YOU did to them. What YOU took away from them. We are a forgiving society, but no one will ever forget your senseless, cowardly actions.

This is Omaha, Nebraska. It's not always the funnest place to live. We don't have some of the same fun and interesting things that most of the major populated cities in this country do. We don't get the glamour or the glory. We are in fly over country with a metro population of just over 617,000 people. The one thing about us is our resilience. We will unite together through this and rely on each other for comfort. We will remain strong through these toughest of times and always keep the victims of 12-05-07 in our prayers and hearts. And even though the national media gives us less and less attention every day because we are not on the East Coast or in California, I have one thing to say. We will NEVER forget and we will NEVER allow a selfish coward take away from what we have here in our community.

God bless those wonderful people we lost on 12-05-07!

Avril Lavigne Mourns For The People In Omaha

Kill Yourself, Not ME!!!

Where do I even start with this? Let's start with this past Saturday night. It was my best friend's birthday on Sunday so we went out for the night to celebrate. Now, there are numerous reasons why you won't find me in bars very much and one of the biggest reasons is cigarette smoke! Every time I come home from bars or clubs the result is always the same. I smell like a damn smoke stack by the time I get home, my hair feels so grimy I feel the need to bathe for about eight hours and the next day I always feel like I was the one smoking nine packs the night before. Saturday was no different.

After inhaling poisonous smoke for five hours, it not only embedded itself in my clothes, but my lungs, hair and eventually my car as well. As I lay trying to sleep I found myself coughing and feeling congested. There was a tightness in my lungs and my throat felt like an iron rake was going to town on it. I could not sleep, my eyes were sore and watery and I felt like complete garbage. I knew what I was going to talk about later on that day on-air.

About a week and a half ago Sterling had discussed the topic of banning smoking in public places. I happened to be in the studio that day (rare daytime appearance) and threw my own two cents in about it. Sterling, a smoker, is for smoking in public places. Her main argument was the government overstepping business owners and telling them how to run there business. She had more arguments, but that was her main point. Sterling, if you read this and disagree with that statement, let me know. But that's what I took away from her argument.

Here now is my argument against smoking in public places. First of all, smoking is a privilege not a right. It's not your right to smoke. It is my right to be able to breathe clean air. Well, as clean as our polluted air can get. I think that no matter what you do, if you do something that adversely affects someone, it is wrong. We are all against drunk driving and it is illegal. Why is it illegal? Cause you can kill or seriously injure someone, including yourself. Smoking is the same thing. You can smoke all you want, but when you blow those toxins in someones face, you are potentially killing them.

Fact: every year there are 3,400 lung cancer deaths and 46,000 heart disease deaths in adult nonsmokers in the United States. Fact: In 2005 there were 16,885 alcohol-related fatalities in car accidents. Both are horrible and avoidable ways to die. And if you look at the numbers you can clearly see that more people are affected each year from second hand smoke. I'm not saying that one is worse than the other, just simply looking at the numbers. Both results from what someone did to affect another.

Now, I'm not gonna sit here and say we should outlaw cigarettes or alcohol, but something needs to be done. In 2004, Ireland became the first country in the world to have a full smoking ban. Ireland! The land of my relatives and where they smoke and drink in the womb! The UK soon followed with a full ban in 2007. Denmark, France, Romania and The Netherlands have broad smoking bans coming in 2008. A number of major cities and states in the U.S. including California and New York have banned smoking in public places. Why would it be so hard to do in Nebraska?

Let's look at the argument of the government telling privately owned businesses what to do. Let the owner decide on how to run their business. Doesn't the government already set rules and regulations in place for the safety of consumers? All businesses such as restaurants need to follow strict guidelines like cleanliness, food preparation, fire codes, etc. They do that to protect us, the consumer. Let's say there wasn't such a thing as the FDA. A restaurant decides not to be very clean and has cockroaches crawling on the floor and rats dropping feces in pots and pans causing serious health hazards to anyone who eats at said restaurant. You wouldn't want to eat there would you? Then you would probably want the government to step in and do something about it. That's what I'm asking for here. You read the statistics. Second hand smoke IS a serious health issue.

More and more workplaces have all but done away with smoke break areas. Businesses have either pushed the smoking area outside or have gotten rid of it all together. We all agree we shouldn't smoke around babies and young kids. Hmmm, I wonder why that is? Maybe it's because we all know it's bad for us. It can destroy an infants developing lungs and encourage young people to start smoking because they see their parents or an influential person doing it. So why should we subject teens who work in restaurants to be around second hand smoke? Most young people's first jobs are at restaurants, but they also work at other places too. Car dealerships, grocery stores, retail stores and so on. It would be insane to think of someone smoking in the middle of any of those businesses. Why should restaurants or bars be any different?

And why are more and more smokers lighting up outside instead of inside their own home? Why do they ash out their car window and throw their buts out instead of using their ash tray? Simple, the smoke seeps into the woodwork, walls and everything inside the house leaving the paint with a shade of yellow and stinking everything up leaving you smelling like a chimney wherever you go. And you can't dirty up your car with those nasty, stinky filters. Plus, your change is in the ash tray! If it's too disgusting for you, how do you think us non-smokers feel? If you thinks it's so bad and so dirty and a terrible habit, why do you think it's okay for you to spread your noxious poisons on to other people?

When I discussed this topic again yesterday I was surprised to not get a lot of opposition. There were some that called and disagreed with me and had some descent points, but no argument against me that really made the point of why banning smoking in public places was a bad thing. Some listeners called up and simply told me to "go somewhere else." Why don't the smokers go somewhere else? That's not a point of argument if you're telling me that cause I can say the same thing. I had so many phone calls yesterday that I couldn't air all of them and it took over my entire shift from Noon-5. Below you will see a player where you can listen to all of the aired calls. I'm working on getting the other phone calls that weren't aired up as well.

If you disagree with me and feel the need to comment or email me, please do I encourage you to! It's 2:52 Tuesday morning and my throat is worse than it was yesterday! Tell me second hand smoke isn't a big deal. Tell me how it would affect our economy and I will ask you, when did a dollar mean more than a human life? Listen to the call at the end, followed by my commentary very closely. I think she has a great idea that's fair to everybody. It makes too much sense though, so we know that will never happen.

Thanks For Listening...And NOT SMOKING!!!

Series Premieres

Let me just state that I don't have a lot of time to watch t.v. these days. Well, besides what's on during the overnights which limits me to just about nothing. But as I sat home tonight fighting off allergies (and working out) I caught the premiere episodes of ABC's "Cavemen" and "Carpoolers." Both were preceded with a lot of ads for well over the last month or so.

Honestly, I couldn't wait for the Cavemen show as soon as I heard they were spinning them off from all those great Geico ads. Some of the best on television if you ask me. Then I quickly thought about how they were gonna pull this off. In the back of my mind I figured the show would be funny, but would soon become unoriginal and start to repeat itself and lose it's appeal. And sadly after watching the first episode last night I feel the same way. Although funny, I just don't see it lasting.

Basically it's showing everyday struggles through the eyes of cavemen living in the 21st Century. All the problems and issues we live through on a daily basis except through their eyes. Then again I might be surprised. After all you can't really judge a show after the first few episodes. Seinfeld never really took off until its fourth season so hopefully the writers will find a way to reinvent themselves and do things to make the show current and relevant.

After Cavemen it was time for Carpoolers. I see this one lasting a bit longer than Cavemen. Four different guys all going through what seems like their own mid-life crisis. Being stuck to ride to work with each other every day to help each other out with their problems. I really think the show has potential, but probably won't last very long either. Then again maybe shows like these aren't meant to last long for some reason. Just something to get us through to the next big show. By the way, where is Lost? That is one of my favorite shows on t.v. and I have to wait till February for the new season? Well, at least I have my answer as to why Cavemen and Carpoolers are on the air right now. Once again, love the shows but just don't see them lasting very long.

Thanks For Listening!

Real Talk

The video is pretty much self explanatory. Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy goes off about a newspaper article written about some of his players. Gundy has since been applauded and criticized for the way he conducted himself. I applaud him. We have to remember that players in college athletics are just kids. They don't deserve to be attacked like rich professional players who make mistakes on the field. I just wish Nebraska's coaching staff could show this much emotion about something. Then again, Tom Osborne and his staff never had to get real emotional to fire up their players.

I Thought This Was America People

There's been so many things going on in this country lately that just blows my mind. I can't seem to focus enough attention on one thing before something else pops up and bothers the hell out of me. Where are we at and where are we heading as a nation? I don't think I've ever questioned myself about the future status of the United States as I do now. Not after September 11th, not after Hurricane Katrina, but after all the nonsense that's been in the news lately.

Let's start with the Jena-6 situation. What is this, 1852? More evidence that many parts of the South is still showing hate and blatant racism towards black people. If you don't know the story here's a quick briefing. Basically some high school kids got in a fight over sitting under a tree. Yes, a tree! Some black students asked their high school administration if it was okay to sit under it since that's where all the white kids would always hang out. When they tried to all hell broke loose and white students started to fight with the black students. The end result was the white kids in the fight either got off with a slap on the wrist or no punishment at all. Meanwhile, the black students were charged with severe crimes including attempted murder. Attempted murder for using a shoe in the fight. It is truly unbelievable. For more on the story click here.

Now some stories about free speech. In Florida during a town hall meeting with Senator John Kerry, an overzealous UF student started to ask some pretty tough questions that he wanted the Senator to answer. After asking if he was in the same "Skull & Bones" secret society with President George Bush, they cut his mic and police started escorting him out of the building. After asking what he did wrong and not wanting to leave, the cops eventually took him to the ground where they proceeded to taser him. For what? He was obnoxious and unorthodox in the way he presented himself, but when did it become a crime to voice your opinion in this country? To me this seems like something out of a dictatorship. The government wants to shut you up so you can never be heard. This isn't America to me. This definitely is not freedom! And to hear this dude scream is brutal.

Here's a few videos of the student getting tasered.




Kathy Griffin and Sally Field were censored for speaking their minds while accepting their Emmy's. Free speech? That's a crazy idea that will never work.

Speaking of speech, let's talk about Isiah Thomas. The former NBA basketball star for the Detroit Pistons and current New York Knicks coach is being sued for sexual harassment by a former female employee. One of her arguments in the lawsuit was the way Thomas would describe her as a "bitch" to both her and Knicks employees. In a deposition given by Thomas he had stated that when a black man calls a black woman a bitch it's not as serious as when a white man calls a black woman a bitch. He stated that it is actually more offensive for a white man to call a black woman a bitch than if a black man did. To me this is totally not a race issue, but a sexist issue. Females should be referred to as women or ladies, not bitches no matter what color they are. It's offensive either way. I wonder what Thomas would have said if it were the other way around. Would it be more offensive for a black man to call a white woman a bitch than for a white man to do so? My answer is the same, no! Bottom line, don't refer to women as bitches or any other derogatory words. Women are queens and deserve to be respected by males of all color.

Donovan McNabb, quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles, says that black quarterbacks are more scrutinized than white quarterbacks. Given the city he plays in (Philadelphia once booed Santa Clause) it's probably more the media there than anything. Then again, when you read stories like Jena-6, it makes you think twice about it.

Nebraska Senator Ernie Chambers is suing God. Need I say more?

O.J. Simpson is in the news again. While vigilantly searching for the "real killer" he got arrested in Las Vegas and is charged with 11 counts of armed robbery and is now facing life in jail. Only 12 years too late!

The U.S. Congress decided not to give extended leave to returning soldiers from Iraq. Way to honor those that are defending mine and your asses. Thanks congress!

Osama Bin Laden put out another video today. Can somebody please get rid of this guy? We can read license plate numbers from space, but yet we don't know where this guy is? Bullshit!

And the worst of all, Chris Crocker is getting a t.v. production deal. You know this guy. He's the "leave Britney alone" clown.

For those who haven't seen this 3rd grade dropout.


God help us all...or kill me now!!!

Thanks For Listening!